he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
