I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Your penis caused this!
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