My brain says no but my pants say off.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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