someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
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Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
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so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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