I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
