No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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