Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
