one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
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