Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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