i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize