I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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