I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
