idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
