i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
