Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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