I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
It's just like the Real World with babies
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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