We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
