Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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