I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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