It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
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we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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