do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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