Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
