Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
