After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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