Apparently you make a good broom.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
