Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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