I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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