Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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