this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
