Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
