oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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