Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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