Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize