Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
