i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
