D3 body, D1 cock
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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