i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
