Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
