I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
