i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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