Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
