it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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