it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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