Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
