hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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