Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
