i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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