it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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