He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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