We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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