he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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