so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
