I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
