yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
