Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
