I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
