I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize