i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
