I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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