When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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