we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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