I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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