i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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