how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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