my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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