The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Randomize
